why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
