She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
