He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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