laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
