His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
