I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize