My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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