He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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