Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
