I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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