Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
