she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you traded sex for a burrito?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
