You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
