i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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