I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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