I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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