She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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