Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
How external is "for external use only"?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
