Pants 0. Shit 1.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize