Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
