Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
