are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
