Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
