I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He shit in the fireplace
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
