she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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