Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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