I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
