You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize