I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
