How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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