you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
