Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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