Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
