grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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