I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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