She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
