Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
