girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
