sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
