they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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