i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
