My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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