my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Im part way to drunk.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
