Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
