Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
