Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize