PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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