no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
