I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
