Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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