i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
