She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
