And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
