i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
