guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
