she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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