It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
