so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
