i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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