there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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