East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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