I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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