she woke up with a sticky ear
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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